Weekly Top Five: Things to Watch if You're Not Watching The Super Bowl

Weekly Top Five: Things to Watch if You're Not Watching The Super Bowl

Can we all go ahead and agree upon the fact that we’re plumb sick of Mr. Perfect Tom Brady with his We’re Still Here” chant + friggin ridiculous mic drop? And completely over Bill Belichick with his dumb cut-off sleeve sweatshirts — especially during this hyperborean polar vortex? And utterly exhausted by the New England Patriots’ repeated participation in the Super Bowl — and what’s worse, their good chance of actually winning the damn thing — yet again? If you couldn’t tell, the Pats rank very high on my list of “Things For Which I Have Great Distaste.” They’re right up there next to anchovies and slow walkers on a busy sidewalk.  

Now, to be clear...my aversion for The Patriots is nothing personal, really. It’s not like Tom or Bill or Gronk or Julsie ever did anything to me, specifically. Nor, in fact, did they do anything to my team (which is the Saints, by the way...lol). But it’s mainly that I’m a girl who wants variety; a girl who wants excitement; a girl who wants to believe the winning quarterback when he screams, “I’m going to DisneyLand!!” while thrusting the Vince Lombardi Trophy straight into a shower of twinkling confetti. And I just don’t think it’s believable after five mothaf#ckin times, Tom. I know DisneyLand ain’t Giselle’s thang.

Note: I’m not even gonna go there with the St. Louis Los Angeles Rams, who put a massive pin in the Saints’ Super Bowl balloon this year. Ain’t got no tears left to cry.

All that to say...I don’t necessarily care to watch The Game this year. And to be 100% transparent, I probably will watch the game because I’ve got a Super Bowl party to go to, but if I didn’t have a Super Bowl party to go to, I would for sure be holed up on my couch [still with a massive tray of Super Bowl-style nachos because #duh] watching something completely different. Something completely better. Something with perhaps an actual surprise ending... unlike the Patriots winning Super Bowl LIII.

You feel the same way? Cool. Let’s be friends. And then let’s get together on Sunday and watch one of my…

Weekly Top Five Things to Watch if You’re Not Watching The Super Bowl.

1. Roma [Netflix]

For at least a month, Netflix has fairly aggressively suggested this movie for me, and for no real reason I continued to ignore the suggestion. Truth be told, I didn’t know much about this black-and-white Mexican film, but when I heard it had been nominated for Best Picture for this year’s Academy Awards [among a whole host of other nominations], I figured I’d give it a shot. The film takes place in 1970’s Mexico City and centers around the lives of a somewhat-normal yet also somewhat-unraveling middle-class family. More specifically, it focuses on their maid, slash nanny, slash stand-in matriarch, Cleo. Not only is Cleo responsible for cleaning the house, washing the laundry, caring for the dog, waking up the children, and putting them to bed, but she also bares the brunt of the parents’ withering relationship; she’s like the raft keeping everyone afloat. Through a series of catastrophes and misfortunes, the viewer becomes close not only to Cleo but also to the family she cares for, while the juxtaposition of the camera’s sweeping views and intimate close-ups makes for a wholly emotional experience. An intimate look at place and time that feels both distant yet eerily familiar, Roma is a moving film that when straight to my heart.

Photo courtesy Netflix

Photo courtesy Netflix

2. You [Netflix]

Based upon a novel by author Caroline Kepnes and adapted into a psychological thriller television series, You is a Netflix-original series that my husband and I gobbled up in a matter of days. The story follows Joe Goldberg, the slightly-creepy yet still-pretty-cute bookstore manager, as he meets, falls in love, stalks, and eventually dates Beck, a struggling writer living slightly outside of her means in New York City. Although the details are often a bit dubious and quite unrealistic, the juicy storylines, outrageous characters, and sensational incidents that take place over the course of ten episodes are just too good to let any far-fetched trivialities ruin the fun. Netflix recently announced Season 2, and we can hardly wait.

3. FYRE: The Greatest Party That Never Happened [Netflix]
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Fyre Fraud [Hulu]

Surely you’ve heard about Fyre Festival. Right? Perhaps you were clued in to the drama when the literal shitshorm was raining down last spring? Or maybe you, like many others, only recently learned of the luxury-music-festival-turned-hellish-worst-nightmare when both Netflix and Hulu released documentaries about the fiasco earlier this month — within four days of one another. If you haven’t already, I highly suggest watching them. Both. Before you do, however, you should know: Netflix’s version of the story is told by the social media company that was hired to promote and document Fyre Festival long before shit hit the fan, Jerry Media. So, there’s that. And Hulu? They actually paid Billy McFarland a cool six mil to appear in their fiery flick (he’s the guy at the center of the failed festival who is now spending 6 years in prison and owes the US $26 million). Ew.

4. RBG [Hulu, Amazon]

Over the past few years, female Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg — otherwise known simply as RBG — has become somewhat of a pop culture icon. From referring to the Justice as “Notorious RBG” to dressing up with her likeness for Halloween (looking at you, Jordan Farrell), Ruth Bader Ginsburg has become a major point of public interest of late. Not only has she “changed the world for American women” in regards to politics, but she’s set an example for strong, intelligent women outside the political spectrum, too. RBG takes a look at her life from start to finish, including both her personal and political lives, and further satisfies that odd curiosity so many of us have for this 85-year-old badass babe.

Photo Courtesy IMDB

Photo Courtesy IMDB

5. True Detective - Season 3 [HBO]

Everyone knows that Season 1 of True Detective was freaking fantastic and everyone knows that Season 2 was not quite as fantastic...so where on the spectrum will Season 3 land? So far, so good. Although HBO has released just five episodes thus far (starring dreamboat Mahershala Ali, might I add), and although I’ve yet to watch them all, I’m already on board after seeing the first two. The crime around which Season 3 focuses is on the disappearance of two kids, and Ali plays the lead detective assigned to the case. The story flashes between three different time periods — when the crime actually occurred in the early 80’s, something like 5-10 years after the crime occurred when the case is being revisited, and probably 30 or years after that when Ali is a retired, older man being interviewed for a documentary about the crime. If that last little bit doesn’t make you curious to figure out what the F happened in this simple disappearance case...I don’t know what will. A new episode comes out on Sunday — so go ahead and spend Saturday catching up so you can fully absorb the new one while the Rams are battling the Pats!

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